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Recap on a silent night - It's my life and anything else in between.
Soo Jin

Date: 2002-12-31 01:13
Subject: Recap on a silent night
Security: Public
I am feelingsadsad
In the stillness of the night, nary a whisper passes through.. Nothing but the whisper of the air-conditioning, the chirping of the distant insects. A wave of loneliness hits me as I consider the past year. It'll be the celebration of the end of one year and the beginning of the next, yet I dread what is to come..
For it's almost a week since I last heard her voice.. I miss her terribly and at such lonely, quiet times, my mind runs amok with wild ideas of her finding someone better.. and with tears streaming down my face, i'd feel sorry for myself as I consider what the rest of the year has brought me.. My year has been turbulent to say the least.. I'm not comparing it with anyone. I'm just going by my standards.
I went back to Melbourne early.. was lonely to the point that I got a cat to fill up the emptiness. I still miss her, that cat of mine.. Then I had to give her away when I left Melbourne. I had just been effectively kicked out.. My dad paid me a surprise visit and forbid me to bring her back..
Came back and started working. Wanted to continue studying and I even attended an interview to see if I was suitable. I got it.. conditions were simple.. Dad pays the fees.. rest of the money I figure it out myself.
I met Cindy.. took a while but I convinced her that I was worth a shot.. =)
went through the semester.. Had a horrible birthday, Holidays came, she went away.. Been missing her.. sigh.. What am I gonna do? The longing is almost a physical pain, I hate it..
hate hate hate..
tomorrow's new year's eve, should I go just not to be alone? or stay home and spend yet another new year's day all alone.. I don't know.. I don't feel like smiling for anyone right now..
not until after jan 5th
why won't that day come quicker?
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May 2017