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of backups.. =) - It's my life and anything else in between.
Soo Jin

SooJin
Date: 2007-03-19 03:03
Subject: of backups.. =)
Security: Public
Located @home
I am feelingcontemplativecontemplative
There are friends of mine who are in a relationship,
but around that relationship, there's a 3rd party..
sort of like a backup..

usually a guy but possible to be a girl.
Now this back-up isn't exactly threatening to the other party in the relationship hence their presence is tolerated.
These 3rd party, their existence is.. as such that, if the bf/gf is not free, the 3rd party slots in to fill the gap.
for purposes such as
driving them around, accompanying to purchase something, wake up calls, etc..

point of this post would be..
why bother?
I mean.. why go through all this trouble? Aren't there better ways to fill your time? running around after one party in a relationship like a lost puppy is only gonna create some issues later on..
and also, are the ppl actually in the relationship that oblivious? or it's off no concern to them. To them, he/she is like a very dependable friend..
and would you feel guilty if it's the latter option?
you know what's happening but you still continue to 'use' them that way

If i lost you a little back there.. sorry, i will rewrite it if sufficent number of ppl request it.. =)
Do comment, I wanna hear your thoughts.
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User: (Anonymous)
Date: 2007-03-19 14:07 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
thats not how backups work lah.... you totally missed my point... tsk tsk tsk
these backups are actually willing souls... they don't mind being used.. and most of the time, they have nothing whatsoever for the person they're being a backup to..
a backup is just to function as, someone to rely on, not as a literal part time bf...
=-P
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SooJin
User: dcsjin
Date: 2007-03-19 18:15 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
i mean they get nothing out of it..
why be so reliable for someone else? live your own life..
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User: (Anonymous)
Date: 2007-03-20 09:35 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
...have you considered the possibility that it's a big-brother / sister type relationship? Quite possible if one or both of the persons in question don't have siblings / family around.

(sneexe)
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SooJin
User: dcsjin
Date: 2007-03-20 17:10 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
perhaps.. but.. i'm just a little.. non-trusting on this issue?

i mean i don't believe that it is so..
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User: (Anonymous)
Date: 2007-03-20 13:17 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
i suppose some people are just backups becoz, that's the closest they'll ever get to actually being with the person... i mean, the person's obviously attached, and there's no chance in hell it'll happen, so, instead of having nothing at all, they'd rather have a close friendship with the person?

remember... a diatribe overheard
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SooJin
User: dcsjin
Date: 2007-03-20 17:15 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
isn't that a little sad to settle for that?
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User: (Anonymous)
Date: 2007-03-21 14:49 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
better than having nothing at all? it may be same to some, but to the few, it might mean the world to them
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SooJin
User: dcsjin
Date: 2007-03-21 18:28 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
i live by the adage.. all or nothing

=)
maybe that's why I always end up losing..
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User: (Anonymous)
Date: 2007-03-25 09:57 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
erm...so complicated wan meh? everyone's old enough to choose their own friends....and people stick around or leave for whatever reasons. as long as you know why you've chosen to stay or go. no? - jo-lyn
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SooJin
User: dcsjin
Date: 2007-03-25 16:42 (UTC)
Subject: (no subject)
so the choice to be used is also a choice.. but as a friend, wouldn't you want your friend to utilise his/her life better?

instead of being a doormat
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