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i am a lummox.. =) - It's my life and anything else in between.
Soo Jin

Date: 2006-09-19 12:12
Subject: i am a lummox.. =)
Security: Public
Located @London, England
I am feelingirritatedirritated
sometimes i wonder, why is it that on occasions, people regard me highly?
like when i was in high school and failing my modern maths for reasons unknown to me,
my teacher ms. ho took me to one side and asked me.. why are you failing my subject? you're a smart boy..

i never thought that i was smart.. nor do i now think that i'm smart.
Maybe I happen to enjoy reading, so that naturally expands my vocabulary a bit..
and my general knowledge a little more..
but that doesn't make me smart.

"your english is so good, why are you failing?"
what does my english have to do with my capacity for studying?

and when i listen to responses that people give to probing questions, and they give brilliant answers
which makes me wonder why is it that all I have to say is.. dunno, anything, I guess, I suppose..

It's one thing to be supportive and yet another to give someone false illusions of grandeur..

What is it that gives ppl the impression that i'm smart? I talk too much? I talk too little? I look bored? I look interested?
pressure to live up to expectation?
ego enough to think that i'm that smart?
deluded enough to think that i can actually make it..

oh yea...
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May 2017