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why why why - It's my life and anything else in between.
Soo Jin

Date: 2005-04-12 10:34
Subject: why why why
Security: Public
I am feelinglistlesslistless
it was said that.. the stages to a problem.. such as mine is

1. Shock..
I think that was on Thursday.. didn't have much time to think about it.. on Friday as well.. I think that it was so..
2. Denial..
I think this was the part where I went.. why me? Saturday morning.. this can't be happening to me.. whatever it is, we can talk it out..
3. Anger..
I'm not sure I actually went past this stage.. don't recall being angry.. perhaps I've not gotten past this stage.
4. Acceptance..
I thought I've accepted it.. but maybe I haven't yet accepted it.. I don't know..

Today I'm feeling a little morose..
she replied the e-mail i sent to her yesterday.. just a one line that I wrote..
she was vehement that she wasn't avoiding me.. and she was rather flippant about it..
I think I'm still in denial..
lol =)
after.. reading the e-mail.. re-read it..
then I was thinking.. how could we have come to this..
I watched the idiot box for a while.. just to.. stop thinking.. but still I found myself thinking
just 2 weeks ago..
we had just gotten up.. went to the market to buy stuff.. and prepared to go down from Camerons.. took many pictures at the rose valley..
why was it so fast.... WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so much pain.. why does she have to put me through this?

The tears come intermittently now..
sometimes i'm good.. sometimes I'm bad..
right now it's bad..

Again this song comes to mind..

there's a danger in loving somebody too much.. and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust
there's a reason why people don't stay who they are, baby sometimes love just ain't enough..

I gave it my all.. and all I ended up with was a broken heart..
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May 2017