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Sigh - It's my life and anything else in between.
Soo Jin

SooJin
Date: 2005-04-09 08:34
Subject: Sigh
Security: Public
I am feelingsadsad
She called me just now..
couldn't sleep she said..
and ask me what was it that I wanted to talk to her about..
I wanted to know about us.. the whys..
she said that there wasn't much to it.. we just didn't have the spark.. the chemistry..
and she can say with an absolute certainty that she doesn't love me anymore..
I didn't know how to respond to that.. so I said goodbye and mulled over it while I took a shower..

Then I called her back.. My feelings were about to run riot.. but I must say I kept it pretty well in check. She said she wasn't happy, don't see anyway of being happy.. and doesn't want to waste MY time or her time doing it anymore..
While I don't feel that I've wasted my time, I guess that she does..
I can feel my feelings bubbling just under the exterior of my facade.. threatening to break out with a suddenness that would turn me into a crying mess.. But.. it's the time to be strong isn't it.. =)

So what can you say to someone who feels absolutely certain that the path they have chosen IS the right one.. the fortune teller asked if I have thought of marriage.. and I guess I admitted that I did.. because the person that I was with was 'the one' despite all our differences. When you feel that way, the thought of marriage is never far away.. I mean.. it's just the next step.. albeit it's a very big step..
man..
what do i do..
what do i say..
I need to do something or i'll go insane..
maybe.. heh
I don't know.. I'm unsure of myself..
baby steps will be needed as I face the world alone again..

why me?

it aches and ahces and aches.. ugh..
Peace world!
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