A family are gathered round the table for their evening meal when the son turns to his father and asks "Dad how many types of boobies are there?"
Surprised his father answers, "well son there are 3 types.
In a womans 20's her breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her 30's to 40's they are like pears, still firm but hanging a bit.
In her 50's they are like onions.
"Onions?" what do you mean, the son asks
The father says "Yes" , when you see them, they make you cry!"
This infuriated the wife and daughter so much that the daughter asked her mother "Mum how many types of willies are there?
"The mother smiles sweetly and replies "well dear, a man goes through 3 phases in his life...
In his 20's, a mans willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.
In his 30's and 40's, its more like a birch, flexible but reliable.
After his 50's its like a Xmas tree."
"A Xmas tree?"the daughter asks.
"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration!"
A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of her students
The teacher asked, "Boy what is your problem?"
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy to the principal's office. While Boy waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3x3?"
Principal: "What is 6x6?"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.
The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the third-grade. "
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?"
The principal and Boy both agree.
Ms Neelam asks: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy, after a moment "Legs"!
Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Ms Neelam: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
Ms Neelam: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Ms Neelam: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: "Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?"
Ms Neelam: "You stick! Your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up.
I get wet before you do."
Ms Neelam: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first."
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy: "Wedding Ring"
Ms Neelam: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good."
Ms Neelam: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."
Ms Neelam: "What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?" Boy: "Firetruck"
Ms Neelam: "What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u don't get it u have to use your hand"
Ms Neelam: "What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after! They're married?"
Ms Neelam: "What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?"