?

Log in

No account? Create an account
What is the measure of a friend? - It's my life and anything else in between.
Soo Jin

SooJin
Date: 2007-06-15 01:12
Subject: What is the measure of a friend?
Security: Public
Located @home
I am feelingcontemplativecontemplative
Listening toP Diddy (feat Keyshia Cole) - Last Night
Tags:introspection, reflections, relationships
When I was younger, I was convinced that I'd never have good friends..
Nothing happened to dispel that thought but it wasn't until later, much much later that I gradually discovered people who would eventually be what I consider a good friend.
But sometimes, due to circumstances and events in your life or their lives, you drift apart and there just seems to be too many obstacles to bother with trying to keep in touch.

So when does a good friend become just a friend?
If you don't have the time to meet each other for years on end, does that still qualify you as a good friend?
I always thought that friends would make time to one another be it, once a month, a year or the calls at random.. etc. Or even sending an sms enquiring on how they are.

There are the people who are there when you needed them and then disappeared when you stopped. Like my support groups when I was going through my little hell back in 2005.
For that I'll always be grateful.. but does that make them a good friend or not? I do do my share of calls.. But I guess I have my own cut off point. I will make the effort a few times. If I feel that the other party isn't keen on playing ball, I stop bothering. Does that make ME a bad friend?

3 scenarios
One
Someone I've known since high school. I value her as a good friend and she acknowledges the same. Of late, she's about to give birth.. =) and prior to her wedding, I didn't see her for about 2 years. And we don't really talk or keep in contact. Does our friendship still qualify as being good friends? Is the camaraderie that we possess and the level of comfort that we feel when in each other's company the true measure of how good friends we are? Oh and she remembered my bday a week late.

Two
Someone also known since high school but more an internet buddy. Eventually met up and became better friends. Again, never keeps in contact and etc.. but did bother to remember my bday last year and called and sung me a little bday song all the way from Aus.

Three
One who was my good friend in Melbourne. Disappeared for the longest time. Never bothers, never e-mails, never anything. Forgot everything. Do I downgrade his status?

So which is the better friend? The one who bothered or the one who forgot? The little details in our lives. How our lives have changed. How they try to stay current with your life. How they actually bother.. Would that be a better gauge? I don't like lumping everyone as a friend.

In fact, I'm a little particular about whom I refer to as friends.

There are the
1) ppl I've met - If I ever meet them again, I'll only think that they're familiar and not recognise them for who they are
2) acquaintances - Met more than once and can remember who they are.
3) friends - probably be friendly when there's an occasion for meeting. Might enquire on your status randomly.
4) good friends - More available in your life. Ppl you can turn to, rely on, etc. Meet up on a regular sporadic basis.
5) close friends - On call, Ppl you DO turn to, rely on, etc., no subject is taboo, support provided.. fun and laughter and tears and everything shared.
6) best friend - not sure

Don't ask me about best friends. I have no idea how that works at all.
It may all have to do with me keeping people at arms' length or I don't know..

So if friends care, and good friends care more and close friends even more so..
Which level do you think you fall under?

But more importantly, how does one judge/rate how important that friend is? If they appear to only pay lip-service to that friendship, would it be alright to feel indignant and short-changed?
Say something! | 8 said *** *** Link *






User: (Anonymous)
Date: 2007-06-15 01:51 (UTC)
Subject: regular friend
I was so wrong. I misinterpreting you. I am sorry to you. But the rest, I consider regular friend.

i don't know how i said. It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. And then, you start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that theyare realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. And that you miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

Actually, I have the similar situation like this long long time ago until now. I really hate.hate. this feeling friendship or relationship (HeartBurn). People just don't care.

good thing is that I love Irish friends and guys~!, am in Dublin! :) you are someone special, don't think too much, take care now..-charlene.



Reply | Thread *** Link *



SooJin
User: dcsjin
Date: 2007-06-15 04:21 (UTC)
Subject: Re: regular friend
how did you misinterpret me?
and why are you apologising?

hmm.. so how do you place a marker on friendship.. as in how would you value them and as a result, how much effort would you put into maintaining that friendship?
Reply | Parent *** Thread *** Link *



judithlyn
User: judithlyn
Date: 2007-06-17 13:12 (UTC)
Subject: Me: Good friend?
So do I qualify as a good friend or close friend?
Reply | Thread *** Link *



SooJin
User: dcsjin
Date: 2007-06-17 15:29 (UTC)
Subject: Re: Me: Good friend?
good friend.. =)
Reply | Parent *** Thread *** Link *



judithlyn
User: judithlyn
Date: 2007-06-18 09:32 (UTC)
Subject: Re: Me: Good friend?
Hehehe! You're like my brother!
Reply | Parent *** Thread *** Link *



SooJin
User: dcsjin
Date: 2007-06-18 10:29 (UTC)
Subject: Re: Me: Good friend?
=)
better coordinated I hope =)
Reply | Parent *** Thread *** Link *



judithlyn
User: judithlyn
Date: 2007-06-19 02:30 (UTC)
Subject: Re: Me: Good friend?
yes...very much more coordinated
Reply | Parent *** Thread *** Link *



SooJin
User: dcsjin
Date: 2007-06-19 04:48 (UTC)
Subject: Re: Me: Good friend?
yay
Reply | Parent *** Thread *** Link *



browse
my journal
links
May 2017